Get out the boat

What if I told you that on the other side of fear, was everything you ever wanted? Your dreams, success, love, and so much more.  So often, we stay in situations because of fear. At first, it may not feel like fear. Typically, it feels like comfortability. That very feeling of comfortability breeds complacency. Then . . .  we stay. Stay in growth-less jobs. Stay in unsatisfying relationships. Stay in places where we can’t maximize our potential. What would happen if you left? We subconsciously fear the unknown. But sometimes we just need to become uncomfortable and take the first step.

October 2017. I was employed at a corporation and working in real estate for extra money. I made good money for the age of 23. I had a house, a car, and the opportunity to frequently vacation with some of my best friends. It was “the life” . . . until it wasn’t. I was unhappy and I didn’t know why. I had money, friends, and even a guy I really liked. But something just didn’t fit, so I started searching for more. For me, “more” ended up being law school.

Law school was a childhood dream. Nothing I ever felt like would become a reality. Being a lawyer was the answer to the childhood question, “what do you want to be when you grow up.” Childhood innocence; that’s when I had huge dreams. After speaking to a close friend, I made the decision to become really, really, REALLY uncomfortable. I decided to go to law school. Shortly after . . . everything went “wrong”.

A pre-requisite to law school is the LSAT. A skill-based test, to determine your aptitude for excelling in law school. I began studying in November 2017, to take the LSAT in February 2018. The first challenge, the wrong books came a month before the test. I was unprepared to take the exam. The second, my family life erupted in chaos the day before my practice test, which is a simulation of the real testing environment. I almost didn’t go. The third, the LSAT itself. On the day of the LSAT, I arrived 30 minutes early and ended up being 10 minutes late. I couldn’t find the building. Then, I couldn’t find parking. Finally, by the time I arrived the entire building appeared empty. I remember running around the college campus looking for the exam center in full panic. I stopped random students to ask them the time because I wasn’t allowed to bring my phone into the testing center. How embarrassing. I just kept thinking, “I can’t miss this opportunity, this is my dream.” Not to mention, I didn’t want to disappoint the numerous people I had told about law school. . In funeral tears, I ran around the building screaming “can anyone hear me?” Finally, a woman came down the stairs and gave me direction. I ran up three flights of stairs, just make it before the reading of the directions. Eyes red, tears dried, I sat down to take the test.

My score? Way less than desirable. Actually, I think it was one of the minimum scores I could receive and still be accepted into a school. Regardless, I quit my fulltime job to pursue this journey. I had a house, a car, bills, a 401k, and a dream. But finally, I was out the boat.

My journey through law school has been anything but comfortable. As you can see, how it started was even uncomfortable. As you’ll learn, I lost friends, family, and money. At one point , I even felt I lost my mind.

But no matter what I’ve lost, I’m hopeful. Hopeful that this journey will end successfully. Hopeful that there is greater on the other side. Two steps back . . . three steps forward. It may be discouraging. It will probably be uncomfortable. Growth is uncomfortable. But I would rather be uncomfortable than complacent.

My advice? Get out of whatever “boat” you’re sailing in. Move forward. Take a leap of faith. It may propel you into chaos, but just take one step forward at a time. The old folks say, “you eat an elephant one bite at a time.” The first step, taking one bite.