The Cole Connection

If I told you how many times that I tried to write this exact blog post … you wouldn’t even believe me. If I told you how many videos and content ideas I already have thought-out and prepped in my phone … you would think I was insane. If I told you that I actually planned and prepped a version of “30 days of Cole” for my 30th birthday this past June (2023) … you might even think I’m foolish. And if you don’t think those things about me, it’s cool because I’ve actually thought all of it about myself. It’s like I know where I want to go and who I want to be but  … I’m just lacking. Lacking on the commitment. If we want to get deeper…truthfully I’m probably scared that I won’t succeed. Scared because one thing I know that I lack when I’m overwhelmed is consistency. When I’m overwhelmed and want to avoid things, I just think … why? Why should I? But truthfully the answer to “Why” is probably should be because as much as I’ve tried to avoid it … the thoughts and ideas haven’t went away. I’ve just been procrastinating, wasting time and avoiding what I know I should do. Rightfully so (I guess) … especially when life has been LIFING. I’ve literally moved to another state and started life completely over … again (*inserts rolls eyes emoji*). And for some reason, I feel like every time that I’ve been inconsistent, I have to make this grand entrance by starting over and trying to be consistent again. But to be honest, the “I’m too busy” or “I have a lot going on” is starting to feel like an excuse. Because life is always busy. There is always so much to do. Yes, you should give yourself grace and practice self care… but that’s not what’s at issue here. If you’re like me, sometimes you may have an avoidant personality. Because as much as I accomplish … there’s also a lot that I avoid. Everyday I get up and clock in to work, pouring into a company and trying to produce the best work product—which is completely okay. But also, I must come to a point where I realize … as tired as I am from my 9-5—I still have a purpose to fulfill. I really had to dig deeper to find out why I’ve been avoiding something that has been on my heart for three years. Literally, I start … then something happens, and I give up and stop. I use whatever it is as an excuse as to why I haven’t continued. Some people see me as so inspiring … but it’s not always how I see myself. Why? Because I know there are things that I’m supposed to do that I’ve dropped the ball on. I saw a quote that said: don’t mistake movement for achievement. Well I’ve been moving and achieving, but not in the areas that I’ve been thinking about. And if we get even more honest, some of it is fear. What if my “open” is too open? What if my “transparent” is too transparent. Cause chile, some of the things I go through look nothing like that IG highlight Reel. My real feelings are raw and uncut. My true opinions are most often the unpopular ones. And my real delivery sometimes hurts people feelings—unintentionally but honest. It’s different talking to your close friends who have learned to love and understand you versus the cancel culture of this generation today. It’s okay if people don’t like what your saying or understand your dreams, your purpose is not to appease them anyway — especially if you’re doing something God wants you to do (now make sure it’s coming from God okay). Everyone has an opinion … and newsflash, it’s okay to agree to disagree (but no lie, some of the opinions don’t make sense … but that’s neither here nor there because … love ya anyway). And truthfully, I don’t want to commit to something “out loud” and fail on a public stage. (Can you relate?). Because …is blogging what I’m really supposed to be doing? How do I know? Listen, I don’t know what your IG looks like, but chile mine is full of people living their best lives and doing things they’re great at. But that’s the problem because like … are they really? And EVEN IF THEY ARE, what does that have to do with me? What does that have to do with God’s purpose for me? What does that have to do with God’s plan for me? The answer … absolutely nothing. See, my lane is my lane. Your lane is your lane. And as embarrassing as it is to admit … I’ve been really distracted by other people’s lanes. For example, there are thousands of black women bloggers, probably thousands of young black attorneys, thousands of people discussing the same topics that I want to cover. So … why would I when there’s already people doing it? Well … because the people I’m supposed to touch are the people that I AM SUPPOSED TO TOUCH. I’m not screaming at you, I’m more so screaming at myself. Chevy doesn’t stop make Chevy’s because of Hyundai. BMW doesn’t stop making cars because of Mercedes. Shoot Mercedes doesn’t stop making cars because of Lamborghini’s or Maserati’s or Aston Martin’s. The point … your lane is YOUR lane and there’s people attached to that lane. Even if you only impact one person, and that person inspires one more person … who inspires someone else… it’s worth it. See, your gift will make room for you. So, my question for you and me is: would you try it even if it only changes ONE life for the better. Even it only touches one person. And my answer for myself is: YES. So if you are the only one that reads this: thank you. I hope you feel inspired … because if you are … this post was so worth it. I’ll start over as many times as it takes because each time, I’m starting with experience. Another journey. Let’s try it again. Let’s grow together. May God be with us both. – Cole Welcome to my corner of the world. Raw, real, and uncut. Challenge: feel free to drop a goal you have. Say it out loud. The world needs to hear it.

What if you had to walk away from everything you knew to uncover everything you’ve ever wanted? Would you do it? Would you jump? Of course you would if you knew that it would result in everything you ever wanted. But would you do it if you didn’t? Would you let everything you’re used to go, in order obtain something bigger. I feel like that’s the space I constantly found myself in during my 20s … letting go and starting over. Starting over and hoping to God the next thing would be better because Lord knows I had no idea if it would get better or worse. See it’s so hard to leave a comfortable space to take a chance on something new. Especially when you just got comfortable in the space. Especially when you liked the space. It may not have been a perfect space but it’s what you know. But leaving a comfortable space to become uncomfortable is necessary in this life because growth doesn’t come from comfortable spaces. And I feel like I’ve been in that predicament a lot. I left my first job and home to take an opportunity playing college volleyball. I left college volleyball to get a corporate job. I left that corporate job (that I worked so hard to move up at for 6 years) to try out real estate. I left real estate to go to law school. I left one city to start over in a new city. And some of the “restarts” weren’t even necessarily what I wanted for myself. And some of those restarts came at the expense of walking away from relationships with people I loved. And I mean loved. Probably still have love for honestly. And some of those restarts hurt me. Some of those restarts ended up hurting other people. Some of those restarts were even a result of my own bad decision making. However, all of those restarts contributed to my growth and development. Every single time I learned something about myself. And every single time God restored what I felt like was lost and left in shambles along the way. No everything wasn’t (and isn’t) perfect, but progress is being made. I had to let go to grow. It wasn’t always easy, actually every time it was uncomfortable. Starting over in friendships, relationships, school, career choices. My GOD, it’s SO uncomfortable. Every single time I felt like I lost. But the truth was, I was starting over with experience. A new chance to implement things I wish I had done in the past. And every time, I learned and entered a new space that was a little bit better. So how do you do it? Trust. You trust that God has something bigger and better than what you are giving up or walking away from. Trust that his plan is to prosper you and not to harm you. Now trust, that’s a different topic, a whole post for itself. But don’t worry, we’ll get into it. In the meantime here are some tips for starting over: Just know that if you’re in a space that you’re struggling to walk away from something, walking away may the catalyst that propels you into your destiny. It will be hard, but it also might be worth it. It might hurt, but the pain will be temporary. And everything you think that you lost will be restored or maybe even upgraded. God might have something bigger than what you think you’re letting go.

I feel like our generation aims to consume information so quickly and so easily that reading has become a lost art for a lot of us. Instead of reading a book for one hour, we scroll for two. Instead of listening to an audio book .. we watch our favorite “rachet TV” show (I know y’all keep up on the Shadreoom, Hollywood unlocked, etc.). Actually…let me not speak for you. By “we”… I mean “me.” So today’s discussion: the importance of reading because reading is fundamental… literally.

Hey y’all! I know, I know, I’ve been missing from this blog almost the entire last year. I had such big goals for 2022, however life … well life definitely happened. But tap in to check out my mindset for 2023!